Laugh, Even if Nothing is Funny

Stephanie.22.I like to pretend I have a social life but really all I do is watch TV & make sarcastic comments.
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(via iamwizz)

It’s funny, when I think about this exact time last year. Things were so different. I never would have thought that things could change so much in only a year. I wonder what next October will be like.
If you were a book
I’d lick my fingers
and flip your pages,
until your spine creased
and you lay spent,
with nothing else to offer.
Then, I’d cup you in my palms
and read you again.

oh. my. todd. (via sheiswanton)

😍

(via i-want-spankings)

One of the sexiest things I’ve ever read!!

(via thesexpartners)

(via pursuitofhapppinessss)

walkerflexxasranger:

"put ya tiddy in this ginger ale so i can take this picture…"

walkerflexxasranger:

"put ya tiddy in this ginger ale so i can take this picture…"

(via fueledbyoreos)

queerhawkeye:

there is no one expecting dick to taste good though. i’ve never ever once met a cis dude paranoid about his genitals tasting weird or salty or sweaty or whatever. but of course pussy has to taste like fruit and whatever. OF COURSE. 

(via sallydrapersmoking)

ridiculam:

I’m fully convinced Tumblr knows when you’re sexually frustrated and your feed is just SEX, SEX, SEX.

(via ridiculam)

jarrodis:

single, not sure how to mingle

(via itsalwaysdarkestbeforethe-dawn)

But I guess ultimately what scares me about marriage is where do you find this person? You know a lot of times, most successful relationships, people meet through work, school, mutual friends.

But what’s most interesting to me is when people just meet in life, just randomly.

You know, I have a friend, he got married, I asked him like “Hey, uh, where’d you meet your wife?” He was like “I was leaving Bed, Bath & Beyond. I was looking for my car - I drive a gray Prius. I saw a different gray Prius, I thought it was mine, I walked up to it, I realized I had the wrong car, but I bumped into Carol, we started talking, that was that”. That’s unbelievable.

Think about all the random factors that had to come together to make this one moment possible - this one moment that changed these two people’s entire lives:

First off, this guy has to live in this particular town. Then he has to get a gray Prius. Then he has to need to go to Bed, Bath & Beyond. Then he has to go to that particular Bed, Bath & Beyond. Then there has to be another guy who also lives in town, also drives a gray Prius, also needs to go to Bed, Bath & Beyond, also goes to that particular Bed, Bath & Beyond at around the same time. Then they have to both park somewhat near each other, my friend has to leave before the other guy leaves, see the wrong Prius, think it’s his, walk up to it. Then the woman, Carol, needs to be near the wrong gray Prius for a million other random reasons. They bump into each other, they start talking, their entire lives are changed.

That’s the most amazing and terrifying thing about life.

It is, cause the amazing thing is that at any moment, any one of us can have that moment that totally changes our lives. You could be leaving the show tonight, bump into someone… it could change your life. You don’t know, that could happen.

The terrifying thing is… what if we’re all supposed to be at Bed Bath & Beyond right now?

Aziz Ansari, Buried Alive (via mark-my-wordss)

(via justoneyesterdaaay)